2-Car Pileup Today, Be Safe This Memorial Day | Up My Own Ass

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• Jedi Mind Tricks 101: You Will Give Me a Free Cruise… view story

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  • Submitted by rkalla
  • 1 day ago
  • (http://www.upmyownass.com/jedi-mi...)

  What happens when you are a travel agent and while leafing through cruise line material you notice a brochure entry that is complete and utterly false... you try and get a free cruise, that's what!

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• Are T.A.P.S. and The Ghost Hunters full of S.H.I.T? view story

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  • Submitted by rkalla
  • 7 days ago
  • (http://www.upmyownass.com/are-tap...)

  Yes. The liars from Sci-Fi's The Ghost Hunters TV show constantly remind us what happens when you handle people a pile of money... they sell out.

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• The 3,000 Hit Club Conspiracy view story

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  • Submitted by rkalla
  • 8 days ago
  • (http://www.upmyownass.com/the-300...)

  Is anyone else noticing that the 3000-hit-club and 500-homerun-club aren't as exclusive as they used to be?

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• Quick Reference: Things to Say During Sex view story

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  • Submitted by rkalla
  • 9 days ago
  • (http://www.upmyownass.com/quick-r...)

  Quick Reference of things to say (or not say) during sex.

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• Are You a Badass Mofo (BAMF)? view story

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  • Submitted by rkalla
  • 10 days ago
  • (http://www.upmyownass.com/are-you...)

  You are if climbing death-defying rocks and getting stung in the face by Africanized bees is "uncomfortable" to you, like it is Ben.

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• When a Women-Abusing Rapist Leaves you a Voice Mail view story

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  • Submitted by rkalla
  • 13 days ago
  • (http://www.upmyownass.com/when-a-...)

  Ever been out to a bar and met a very straight-forward, foreign guy that wants your number? How about a guy that rings every alarm bell in your head and when he leaves you voice-messages you want to call the police? Listen to this voice mail...

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• Your Call is Very Important to Us view story

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  • Submitted by rkalla
  • 13 days ago
  • (http://www.upmyownass.com/your-ca...)

  You ever wonder what it's like for a customer service rep receiving *your* calls on the other end of the phone? It's no walk in the park...

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• Will 18-Year-Olds Finally be Able to Enjoy a Refreshing Beer? view story

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  • Submitted by rkalla
  • 15 days ago
  • (http://www.upmyownass.com/will-18...)

  College presidents across the country are hooking up to debate an age old question: at what age does all hope vanish, only to be replaced with depressive and severe trouble drinking? Is it 18? Or is it 21? 19 and 20 can fuck right off.

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• Selma Blair’s Bedroom Eyes Made me Flacid view story

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  • Submitted by rkalla
  • 19 days ago
  • (http://www.upmyownass.com/selma-b...)

  Selma Blair, on the set of Kath and Kim, doesn't quite understand the term: "bedroom eyes".

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• No Special Screening for Tropic Thunder view story

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  • Submitted by rkalla
  • 23 days ago
  • (http://www.upmyownass.com/no-spec...)

  Retarded people take to the streets in protest of the upcoming Tropic Thunder movie and it's rampant use of the word "retard"... seriously?

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